


Don't Care About Right, I Remember Loving You

by awanderingmuse



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mention of Fitzsimmons, Mention of Original Characters - Freeform, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-20
Updated: 2014-09-20
Packaged: 2018-02-18 01:56:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2330963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awanderingmuse/pseuds/awanderingmuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loosely based off of this headcanon at blandmarvelheadcanons on Tumblr.</p><p>“One night, Bucky came home very drunk and went on a long rant about how he didn’t care what society thinks. He loved Steve with everything he had and wanted to marry him. To this day only Steve knows that they are technically still engaged.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Care About Right, I Remember Loving You

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [Don't Care About Right, I Remember Loving You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2816348) by [xyoshiki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xyoshiki/pseuds/xyoshiki)



> Thanks again to LtReginaBarclay. Who basically keeps me on task deadline wise, in line grammatically, and listens to me fuss over everything from "HOW DO I EVEN" to "Which word is best?" and everything in between. You're the best C!
> 
> And thanks to xyoshiki for offering to translate it into mandarin!

Another cough racks his scrawny frame as Steve huddles further into his blankets. He’s actually not that sick. It’s just a cold. A cold that came with an awful fever.

Which is how Steve found himself confined to their bed while Bucky went to the soon to be Mr. and Mrs. Charles and Wilma Charleston’s engagement party. They’d both been friends with Charlie and Wilma for years. Honestly, Steve was glad to see them happy. Still, Steve was feeling a bit putout.

Not just because Bucky got to go to the party while Steve languished in bed. It also wasn’t fair, how Charlie and Wilma got to be blissfully hitched when he and Bucky were just as happy. 

Steve’s disgruntled huff turns into another cough and he sighs. Who is he kidding? He’s mainly upset because he didn’t get to go to the party with Bucky. 

He loves going to that type of thing with his best friend. It makes him dizzy, the way Bucky absolutely glows in a reveling crowd. Filling Steve up with so much love that it feels like he’ll burst. Letting everyone know exactly how much Steve belongs to Bucky. He’ll deny it ‘til he’s blue in the face, but Steve wants that.

Dejectedly, he leans further back into the pillows, staring groggily out the window. It’s nearing midnight and Steve really should be sleeping. This cold still has him beat. But he’d slept all day and he misses having Bucky’s warmth beside him. 

Besides, Steve expects Bucky home anytime now. And he’ll sleep better when he has Bucky’s arms around him. Steve decides to wait up for him.

He should have sketched as he waited. Unfortunately, concentrating on art is difficult when he is feverish. Instead, Steve chooses to stare out the window and doze lightly. He never really sleeps. He isn’t fully awake either, which is why he startles at the gentle creak of the front door. Bucky is finally home.

Steve can tell by the way Bucky moves around their front living area that his fella is sauced. Bucky gently bumps into walls as he pulls off his shoes and tosses them wherever. Steve doesn’t have the heart to bust his chops for not cleaning up after himself. Especially when he hears Bucky sigh like he has the weight of the world on him.

“That you Buck?” Steve calls out hoarsely into the darkness.

There’s a pause and then the stumbling patter of bare drunken feet making their way to Steve and Bucky’s bedroom. The door creaks and Bucky’s tall frame is revealed. 

“Gosh, Stevie.” Bucky slurs as he makes his way across the room, “Ain’t you supposed to be knocked out?”

He shrugs off his over shirt as he makes his way to Steve. As Bucky gets closer Steve can smell the alcohol on his breath. He can see where Bucky’s hair is standing on end from Bucky running his hands through is. He only does that when he’s agitated. 

Steve frowns in concern and scoots over on the narrow bed to make more room for Bucky. Wanting to curl up with Bucky and get him to tell Steve what’s wrong. He opens his blanket cocoon invitingly.

Apparently that’s not what Bucky has in mind. Though depending on how much booze he’s had, Bucky might not have much on his mind at all. Or he could have far too much. 

Bucky falls to his knees at Steve’s bedside and wraps his arms around Steve’s waist. His forehead resting against Steve’s hip as he inhales raggedly.

“Hey, Buck.” Steve says, trying to keep the concern out of his voice. Whatever is upsetting Bucky is bad business. “What’s eating you?”

Steve cards his fingers comfortingly through Bucky’s hair. But Bucky is having none of it. He pulls away and begins pacing. When he speaks it is in angry tones, which surprises Steve. 

Steve’s not quite sure what Bucky’s saying. He’s slurring and rambling badly. He manages to pick “Isn’t fucking fair” out of the jumbled mess. 

“What isn’t fair, Buck?” Steve asks calmly. It’s rare, but Bucky does occasionally come home drunk and angry at some injustice in the world. Steve has learned that the best way to handle it is to let Bucky rant his way through his anger. Then pull him into bed so he can pass out.

“Charlie and Wilma!” Bucky grits out furiously.

Now Steve is confused. He thought Bucky had gotten over Wilma when they were seventeen. Yesterday he’d been joking with Charlie about her being the first dame he’d carried a torch for. Steve says as much.

“Not them specifically!” Bucky corrects vehemently, lost in his anger. “Just them!”

“You’ve lost me Bucky.” Steve says even more confused. Maybe it’s the fever.

“It not fucking fair that everyone gets to know how happy they are!” Bucky shouts. Hoarse from the alcohol that burned his throat not even an hour before. He runs his hand through his hair making it even messier. “It’s not fair that society lets them get hitched when they ain’t even all that happy! They were fightin’ outside when I left, Steve. And all I could think was if it were you and me I’d never chew you out like that.”

Bucky pauses in his agitated pacing to face Steve forlornly. “I want that to be you and me, Stevie. And everything I know says it can’t.”

Bucky sways drunkenly and his legs give out a little bit. Suddenly he’s kneeling next to the bed again. His forehead resting in his hands. 

“But I want it so darn bad,” He tells the mattress, “and damn society.”

Steve knows the sight of Bucky so hurt by the world should hurt. It does, really. At the same time he can’t keep a grin from spreading across his face. 

The thoughts running through his head have got to be the fever talking. But, Steve doesn’t care. He’d been wanting what Bucky was talking about for a long time and if Bucky wanted it too, well then, they would get it. Right after Bucky stopped looking like such a wet blanket.

“That was the most backward proposal in history, Barnes.” Steve says while running his fingers through Bucky’s disheveled hair. “But, okay.”

Bucky lifts his head to look uncomprehendingly at Steve. “Okay?”

Steve grins. “Yeah. Okay. Let’s do it. Let’s get engaged.”

Without a second thought Bucky is on the bed kissing Steve like he’s the best thing in the world. Steve tries his hardest to return the favor. It feels like they kiss and cuddle forever. They only break apart when Steve yawns. 

Bucky pulls away smiling. “Alright, punk.” He says affectionately. “You should’ve been asleep instead of listenin’ to me complain. I’m not sayin’ I’m not happy you did. But now we’re going to sleep.”

“Are you going join me, fiancé?” Steve asks, the sly tone he was going for ruined by how tired he sounds. Bucky is already setting up the bed for both of them. 

“Yeah, Stevie.” Bucky says, crawling under the covers and wrapping his arms around Steve’s slender waist. “Someone’s gotta keep your skinny ass warm.”

“Only you Buck.” Steve murmurs. Drifting off to sleep with the sensation of Bucky reverently kissing his cheek. 

 

*****************************************

It had been three months since Bucky was released into The Avengers care. After being in the new S.H.I.E.L.D’s custody for about eight months. He was doing better than the psychiatrists at S.H.I.E.L.D. could have hoped. Despite being brainwashed repeatedly to believe he was several different people Bucky showed no signs of dissociative or multiple personality disorder. 

He was recovering his memories far more rapidly than was to be expected. Dr. Banner in particular would spend hours enthusing about the accelerated healing of Bucky’s neural network despite the damage it had received. To ensure that recovery continued and that Bucky regained his memories as his own, they had suggested that Steve not talk about the past. It was hard but Steve did it for Bucky.

The Doctors were also very pleased with how he was coping with the PTSD spending 70 years as a POW had left him with. They were still working on getting Bucky to speak when he had something to say. They said every day showed improvement. It didn’t really bother Steve anyway. He could understand Bucky through body language alone.

The psychiatrists were also impressed with how well Bucky was adjusting to the 21st century. Better than Steve had if Steve was being honest.

Steve was just happy to have Bucky back. They weren’t the same as they used to be. Bucky had been fond of pointing that out in the beginning when times were tough. Steve couldn’t care less. Not when he had Bucky back.

And he did have Bucky back. As his fella, like he used to be. Steve had been so happy when Bucky leaned over during movie night one night. His lips brushing against the shell of Steve’s ear as he whispered, “I remember holding your hand when the lights went out.” 

Those few words had been the best Steve had ever heard. When Bucky reached out to hold his hand like they did during movies before the war, Steve about forgot how to breathe. 

“Breathe, Punk.” Bucky whispered from the corner of his mouth. His body language gave nothing away as he rubbed soothing circles into the back of Steve’s hand. It was still Steve’s favorite movie night. 

In the common area kitchen, Steve surveys his team. They are gathered in the kitchen for an impromptu breakfast before they go about their day. He chances a glance at Bucky who is talking animatedly to Clint about their planned morning on the shooting range. The whir of the blender mixing a protein shake nearly drowns out the conversation. 

It will be Bucky’s first time with a gun in his hands since entering S.H.I.E.L.D’s custody. It was another sign of recovery and Steve is delighted to see it. 

It gives Steve hope that one day Bucky will remember everything. Even recall that they’d been engaged shortly before the war. But until then Steve is under the doctor’s orders to keep things to himself. So he does. 

And really Steve’s content, happy even. Surrounded by his team who are also his friends, almost his family. 

Tony is talking to Sam about building Falcon a new set of wings. Bruce and Natasha are talking softly while sipping herbal tea. And Thor is waiting impatiently for his Pop Tarts to come out of the toaster. It’s terribly domestic. Steve smiles around his morning cup of mud. 

A few moments later the elevators door open to let Ms. Potts and Dr. Foster out. They make their way to their boyfriends. Pepper distracting Tony from his plans with some numbers on Stark Industries. Thor leaves his Pop Tarts in favor of kissing Jane hello. 

Seeing the happy couple reminds him that he’s also part of a happy couple again. Steve barely refrains from looking over at Bucky. Then he remembers he doesn’t have to censor himself now. 

When he looks up Bucky is smiling crookedly at him. Then the bastard winks and Steve has to keep himself from going over to kiss him. He isn’t a dame, dang it.

Bucky laughs at Steve’s expression and returns to talking to Clint. Leaving Steve to drink his coffee in peace. For a moment. Then Thor of all people starts shouting excitedly. 

“Really!” he booms. “Agent Fitz and The Lady Simmons are engaged! We must celebrate!”

Across the room Sam covers his ears. Tony laughs and says, “It’s about time!”

The Avengers start talking all at once. Deciding how best to congratulate the young agents. It sounds like they’re deciding on a surprise engagement party but Steve isn’t really listening. He only has eyes for Bucky. Though some part of him notes that Natasha is watching them.

Steve isn’t the only one staring. Bucky is watching him with wide eyes, lost in thought. Steve barely dares to hope he’s remembering what Steve most wants him to know. 

Finally, Steve can’t take the pressure anymore and turns his attention to his overly excited team. It doesn’t last long though. The noise is abruptly cut short by Bucky slamming his protein shake on to the counter. “Goddamit, Rogers!”

Steve turns his undivided attention to Bucky who is stalking towards him, body held stiff in anger. Steve backs up against the counter. In short order Bucky has him trapped, his eyes flashing with barely contained ire. Steve can hardly breathe.

“You think you could have mentioned that happening?” Bucky grits out.

“I wasn’t supposed to.” Steve offers weakly. Feeling like he’s gone back to being 5’ 7” and 110 lbs. Only Bucky can do that to him, and he’s the only person Steve would trust with that kind of power.

Bucky grows low in this throat. Steve thinks Bucky is about to call it quits. He’s right. It is one thing to withhold the time Bucky had a crush on Mrs. Jenkins and her husband. It’s another to fail to mention that they were engaged. Even if he was under instruction to do so.

But once again, Bucky has different ideas. This time he’s kissing Steve hotly, just like the night they got engaged. Steve is vaguely aware of Tony wolf-whistling and Natasha telling Clint he owes her dinner. Thor is quietly asking Jane to clarify this Midgardian interaction. Weren’t engagements a happy occasions? Then why had James been angry? 

Mainly Steve is aware of Bucky’s lips on his. His hands on Steve’s waist. The comforting sound of Bucky’s breathing.

Bucky pulls away just far enough that he can speak against Steve’s lips. 

“I still want it, Steve.” He confesses. Like he’s not sure he can consider themselves still engaged. “Please.”

Steve smiles against Bucky’s lips. “I don’t know, Bucky.” He says slyly. “I think we still need to work on your proposal. You’ve never actually asked me.”

In response Bucky kisses harder. Speaking physically when he doesn’t have the words. But Steve’s fluent in reading Bucky’s body language. He takes the kiss for the “Just say yes, Punk.” it is.

Steve pulls away to say, “Yeah. Alright. I’ll marry you.”

Bucky smiles. “You know we can now?” He says. His eager tone makes Steve melt.

Steve’s murmured “Yeah. I know, Buck.” prompts another round of kissing. When they finally break apart the kitchen is empty. 

Steve is grateful that their team left them alone. It was a personal moment they were sharing. Steve was glad to know the team could respect that. 

Well, they were mostly alone anyways.

Bucky stalks over to a note left on the fridge and pulls it off. 

“It’s a note from Pepper.” Bucky informs him before reading it aloud. “Congratulations, 70 years late boys.”

Steve can’t quite keep from blushing even before Bucky says, “There’s a post script. It says, Tony, Natasha, Clint, and Sam all want to be the best man.”

Bucky looks at him over the paper and they burst into laughter. 

“Well, now we’re done for.” Bucky says through his laughter. Steve can’t help but agree, but he also couldn’t be happier.

**Author's Note:**

> I know, I know...I need to go work on These Temperamental Days...but I was way to stressed out to deal with Bucky and his headspace. So, I took a fluff break. Part four of Temperamental Days to come.


End file.
